If You Had To Marry A Browser…Which One?

Marry Browsers

Strange things happen when you let your mind wander. On a dull Thursday afternoon last week I cheekily tweeted:

If I could marry any browser it would be Chrome…

It was then quickly followed by Brian Yerkes suggesting it was the “nerdiest thing ever said on twitter”. We will never know if indeed it was, however I took it upon myself to ask my own followers:

If you had to marry a Web Browser, which would it be and why?

I received a huge number of responses outlined below, so be prepared to scroll!

@andyharris I’d go with Firefox cos it has a nice bushy tail to snuggle up to.
@IanRobinson I’d have Omniweb’s children.
@g33kgurrl IE makes promises it doesn’t keep.Safari is unpredictable and incompatible. Firefox hogs the resources. I think I’d be single.
@jagster83 Since I haven’t been able to play with Chrome yet, I would marry Firefox!
@johnnypixel Can’t say which one i’d marry but I’d divorce IE6 in a second.
@evantravers Chrome. Simple. Elegant. Private.
@rastasmurf I’d marry Firefox, but I’d like her to lose some weight and stop complaining when I accidentally call her Google Chrome.
@psdesignuk It would be Chrome I guess, but with Safari as my illegal bigamist wife.
@graemeduckett I imagine I would start by dating Firefox, but come to realize she is high maintenance and run off with Safari.
@dsmy Firefox would be my main chic and Chrome would be the one on the side.
@CloverMeadow Flock, for all it’s social media love.
@hakeemhal Matter of factly, i’d marry firefox. Just because regardless of sm shorts, it’s still consistent.
@seengee It would have to be Opera, still barely touched and very innocent but with some great hidden features.
@Martin_Kevin I’d totally marry IE6 – gonna die soon and I’m a gold-digger.
@tolranet Firefox as I don’t mind a little baggage for features but Chrome will be my mistress for when I just want fun.
@Siedrix I how marry firefox, but i’d have an affair with chrome as it’s fast and pretty.
@THIAGONICO I’d mary Firefox, but when it’s been a while (6 months) I would use chrome to surf.
@DaylightGambler Chome is the perfect wife – clean, efficient and hassle free. However sometimes you just need a bit of IE rough!
@dougoftheabaci Google Chrome, but I’d probably have an affair with Safari.
@ninjarhino Netscape is my MILF!
@Rogem002 I would marry FireFox, but every once in a while have a fling with Safari (For the looks) & Chrome (For the performance).
@agharris73 I am in love with FF3 but tend to have the occasional affair with Safari. I am a mac guy.
@corinspired I’d definitely marry Chrome but meet Firefox secretly now and then. Afterall, Firefox was my first love!
@hummeline I’m married to Safari, but Chrome and I have lovely flings at work.
@oeg572 I use chrome only, my cell is Android G1, so I am a hardcore google fan.
@thmonline I like the large -webkit-breasts of Safari.
@DuncanMacGregor A browser to marry would have to be Chrome, its reliable and secure & just a bit bland & lacking elements of danger (crashing).
@tedoe I guess I would marry the calm and relaxing safari but then have an affair or two with the wild FF.about 20 hours ago from TweetDeck.
@tomgooday I would divorce Internet Exlplorer 6 in a heartbeat!!
@edgeone I would marry Firefox since we have been together for so long. Plus she knows about my affair with Chrome and loves my anyway.
@zachboyce Of course I would marry Firefox, only if it switches up its themes from business to party, often!
@clecompte If IE6 were a person, I’d marry them because I know they’d never leave me and they have rich parents.
@danjme I’d marry Chrome; She’s fast, mentally stable, up-to-date and doesn’t require 100% of your resources to run a la Firefox.
@problogdesign Id marry IE because it would be nice to be the good looking one in the relationship.
@pixeldeath I see domestic violence figures soaring if people marry any version of internet explorer…
@arsgrafik Might have a one-night stand with Chrome, but for me it’s open source all the way. I <3 Firefox.
@josh_ross I think I would take Camino. She is a little quirky, slightly offbeat, but gorgeous and well connected.
@StuRobson I’d marry firefox. Sleep with chrome and snog safari.
@Dwyndal I would marry my old faithful Firefox because she allows me to have a 3 some which includes Chrome.
@AnubisibunA I would be a bigamist since I test on them all: 1st wife = Firefox, then Chrome, IE8, Opera, Safari, IE7, IE6, etc.
@StephenKiers I’d marry Safari because she is mentally stable, fun to play with, nightly getting better and she’s always with me; in my pocket.
@glnster Will you @glnster take @firefox to be your browser; thru add-ons & clear cache, till restart do you part? I do.
@olvado I tried divorcing IE6, but they wouldn’t let go. Having a trial separation, but I know I’ll have to go back soon.
@FearMediocrity I wouldn’t marry Chrome… it spawns new processes far too quickly. You’d have a house full in no time.
@evanstremke I’d marry Netscape, but only because I’m into older women.
@designcoyote Firefox, though I have to admit, I’ve had several affairs with Safari. *shamefaced* But I’ll always come back to you, Firefox!
@akamike I just can’t see how we have all divorced IE6, yet she keeps coming round for dinner and complains about our exquisite food!
@Catharsis If I were to marry a web browser, it would be Firefox. She may bloat easily, but she’s reliable and quite extensible (zing!)
@khcreative I’d marry Firefox since it gets an update EVERYDAY. Plus, if it doesn’t have the feature you want, you can always add them on.
@berhouma I Would Marry Chrome.

Thanks to all the amazing people who took the time to take part which contributed to a really interesting post.

Feel free to embrace the nerd within and leave a comment on which Browser you would marry and why…

Image Credit

79 Comments

  1. Marcello says:

    Safari! What else? ;) and if Safari is already taken, I think Chrome, but surely a webkit Browser! No not Firefox, tooo slow, tooo overpacked, toooo damn every day another update!

    Klick on Firefox and you’ll wait at least 2 minutes until you can Browse, cause there’s some update of course.

    Klick on Safari and 2 seconds later you already got the results on google.

  2. Marcello says:

    Update.
    Oh and i prefer the developer tools of Safari much over the add-ons of firefox, do y’all have experienced its great features?

    And paring Safari with Stand and the delicious plugin well there’s nothing to miss.

  3. Adam Shannon says:

    Lynx || Chrome

    Pure, simple, elegant, fast, secure.

  4. I have spent so many long nights with Opera for the past dozen years I should marry her, she is constantly new, enlarges for me when my eyes are weary, bu oh I still long for my fist love, Mosaic. Oh where oh where has she gone.

    A true Opera lover.

  5. So funny . I’m loving Safari (No Marry)

  6. Stijn says:

    Although I’m writing this with Chrome, I’m tied up in a forever love-affair with Firefox. I’ve known her since college, and she’s the most versatile browser out there.

  7. Evania says:

    I’ll marry three browser for different reasons; flock for uploading photos to my facebook, opera for downloading large files, and safari for usual browsing! firefox was my ex; divorced few days ago before I married safari haha.

  8. Angelidarling says:

    Woah Guys! What about flock, the new kid on the block, a social networking browser, that has an interface that will knock the others out of the water. Powered by Firefox. Check it out! Flock.com

  9. Carl Crawley says:

    As much as I’d want to marry Chrome, I’d be wary of what people would say about me being involved with such a young browser plus I wouldn’t want to get onto the young browser-offenders list.

    So, I’d have to Marry Firefox, but only until Chrome Matures and she is of legal age :)

    C

  10. grumpycow says:

    I think you should give a prize to #14 in your post, the guy who said he’d marry IE 6 because it’s going to die soon and he’s a gold digger. That is hilarious! I loved this whole post.

  11. Robin Cannon says:

    I think I’d need a work wife and a fun wife.

    Work wife would be Firefox. Indispensible for design and development, flexible and customizable. But also resource heavy, unstable and massively overrated.

    Fun wife would probably be Safari 4. Sleek, quick and very usable, but also with annoying flaws.

    Chrome might be a wife in future, right now though she’s underage and so I keep my distance (…stretching the metaphor to it’s limit at this stage).

  12. Alex M. says:

    Oh, it would be definitelly IE6, this is the best browser in the world :D.. ok, just playing. My vote is for Mozilla Firefox 3.5 and may be a little for the newest Opera 10.

  13. Marcello says:

    I really suggest to all Firefox Lovers, to try Developer Tools of Firefox/WebKit once! You’ll love it!

  14. Eliza says:

    Firefox would definitely be my long term partner of choice, but every now and again I´d have to sneak off for a liason with chrome.

  15. _mark says:

    Chrome. YOUNG. ATHLETIC. HOT. AND OH SOOOO FINE!

    HANDS DOWN. THERE IS NO QUESTION . NO ARGUMENT. THE END.

    (HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!)

  16. Em says:

    I was married to Firefox but then Chrome came along…

  17. AL says:

    I couldn’t figure out what all the fuss was about FF, then I used it. WOW..I’d marry FF any day.

  18. KrisK says:

    it would be opera with webkit-speed :) and a bit of chrome on top!

  19. It would have to be Safari. But I would have to cheat with Firefox. One’s not enough! And hopefully, this can be a safe and kind “ménage à trois”.

  20. Michael Rose says:

    oooh… Chrome for Mac has just walked in the door

    http://www.google.com/chrome

    I feel an torrid affair coming on.

  21. Yeah, I have to say I’ve tried divorcing myself from IE6 many times, but it keeps coming back to haunt me … oh for the day when we won’t be able to make this joke, huh?

  22. I’m currently married to Safari, but sometimes Firefox gets the job done when I’m at work.

  23. albert says:

    Are we speaking Browsers of Browser Versions?

    IE6 hands down;
    IE6 has longevity; like any relationship, you want that jank to last;
    IE6 is infamous in webcomm, scorned and disliked by virtually all; exactly what you should seek in a partner; some of the h8rs are really just jealous
    IE6 played a major role in not only starting Browser Wars 2 (ongoing) but also the development of CSS3, HTML5 and JavaScript Frameworks; it’s only natural that the love of your life would be so influential they would play a vital role in the ongoing creation and development of not just your livelihood, interests, hobbies, but of something world changing.
    IE6 is quirky ass hell; just like all of us….i’d rather know about my baby’s problemos up front, as opposed to having them creep up randomly @ the most inopportune moment.
    but lastly, more people are familiar with IE6 then any other browser version ever…..of course you want everyone to know about you and your girl; not the details, just the package. Everyone that recognizes her will automatically identify her to you (nar·cis·sis·tic at its worst!) but more importantly, they’ll link you to her. If it’s not too ego deflating for you.
    Lastly, because being familiar with IE6 has not only taught me the world in cross-browser compatibility, core css, the DOM(s), etc, but it has also taught me to think outside the box, separate my behaviors, etc……….I could go on; the point is I would not be where I am today without learning how to dominate IE6, and that is exactly what you should look for a in a mate. Continuous development, looking past shortcomings, work arounds, but really, just dealing with shitte.
    Oh yeah, IE6 has made me alot of money, a trait I most certainly will not seek out in a mate, but it’s just that nice tasty icing on the cake.

  24. Craig says:

    Last to the party. Damn. Looks like I’m going home with Netscape Navigator.

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